Sometimes things can get muddled in the world of self love, self acceptance, self appreciation and any other rah-rah self proclamation. I have had countless discussions with people about their quest to love, hell or even like, themselves.
It usually follows the same basic outline, I sit there listening to how they are not being as hard on themselves, accepting their bodies, choices and most importantly not beating themselves up for what they consider screw-ups. If you have read my blog up to this point or are a returning follower of the former blog, you know I am a cheerleader. I will support the shit out of this type of behaviour…. within reason.
Yeah, I have limits. In our quest for a much deserved positive and happy relationship with ourselves we tend to put on the blinders and in our process of accepting ourselves, fail to hold ourselves accountable or address areas which we can improve. This my friends is essential in the process of genuine and truly self appreciation.
To love ourselves does not mean we cannot see room for growth or change – even if that change means admitting or pointing out ways that we are not providing ourselves the optimum amount of healthy food/activity/mental health support and emotional love that we not only need, but deserve.
Sometimes real self love comes in the form of a reality check, tough love and a little push in the right direction. Self acceptance does not mean accepting that you love fast food and are a couch potato and don’t want to change and because you’ve accepted it, you love yourself. That is self denial, not self love.
We have no problem giving the best to everyone and everything that demands it, or we feel deserves it, yet when it comes to ourselves we treat our bodies, minds and often sheer existence like a garbage disposal – continuously pouring junk in the forms of food, news, toxic relationships, stress, ignoring our better judgement….the list goes on and on. And we do these things under the pretence of a healthy relationship with ourselves.
If any of this sounds familiar to you I highly suggest taking some time to get reconnected with your real thoughts and feelings about yourself, your life and the choices you make and where you’d like to be. This can be incredibly uncomfortable. That’s good. I recently read something that said, ‘ change does not come from a place of comfort’. Hard truth to that statement.
Sometimes the path to self respect and true love for ourselves is a winding and bumping road. Sometimes it means making a lot of changes, back tracking, starting over and making only 1 or 2 at a time. It doesn’t matter. Just trust that every positive change you make is one more in the right direction.
If you’re not at a place where you want to take on all that shit, then don’t..that’s right. Forcing something you’re not ready for serves no positive purpose in our lives. But I will offer this advice: add in.
Don’t worry about all the things you know you should want to change, and maybe even do want to change, but instead of focusing on the negative, focus on adding in. Add in some fruit with your breakfast. Add in more water. Add in vegetables to your supper and a salad at lunch. Add in even a quick 15-20 minutes of movement into your day – even if its a quick jaunt around the office at coffee break time. Focus on adding in.
The positive things you add in will do wonders in serving your body, far more than focusing on all the stuff you need to remove from your life. The benefits of healthy food and fuel are still there without the bullshit of nagging yourself for the less than ideal things you are doing.
Focus on the positive and healthy. The unhealthy and negative will naturally begin to weed itself out. And this..this will lead to self love and acceptance.