How To Get a Bikini Body: Put a Bikini on A Body

How To Get a Bikini Body: Put a Bikini on A Body

I was reading this article on the NYPost about plus size bikini’s, affectionately called ‘fatkinis’ , and I was skimming the comments as I always do (I find people’s responses to articles and ideas to be just as interesting sometimes as the article itself. Am I the only one who does this?) and one of the comments made was “how to get a bikini body: put a bikini on a body” and it made me go, “ha! Hell yes” Primarily because this is how I feel.

If you scan the magazine racks this time of year you are bound to notice the millions of articles and headings providing tips on how to get your best bikini body, or how to kick start your summer slimming diet… and well, I mean…really?!  First off, how can there be that many bests of something. Doesn’t best imply it is the ultimate; the number one? And furthermore, who cares? I am genuinely curious to speak to the people who actually take the advice given. SO if you’re one of them, give me a shout please.

I wear a bikini. I do not have perfectly sculpted abs nor do I have a stomach that stays completely flat when I sit down and I have stretch marks (thanks weight gain, weight loss and babies!). The best part is that I don’t even care. I’m comfortable with my body in and out of clothes so I figure, if you have nothing better to do that look at my body in a bathing suit and criticize it that say’s a lot more about you than it does about me. Primarily that you need a better hobby.

Bathing suit material is probably the most unbreathable, sweat inducing fabric around (I am discounting polyester suits  and tweed. For the simple fact that they are usually used to make skirts or suits and worn in air conditioned buildings..thus making them less sweaty than a bathing suit) and then we have to wear them during the hottest days of the year. I am not sure what prompted me to change my mind about 2 piece bathing suits. I will admit I used to never wear them..I just felt like it was too close to wearing your underwear in public but then it dawned on me: why in the heck am I sitting here letting sweat pool at the top of my bum crack and suffer through it trinkling down from my belly for no other reason than I simply didn’t want to sit in a two piece bathing suit?

With that being said, how do we get ourselves away from this elusive, perfect bikini body imagine we all seem to have to have in our heads? I have a lot of male and female friends where conversations about body image, attractiveness etc comes up and the only thing that I can conclude is that they all have very different taste in what they deem sexy. What one says is sexy in a bikini another may say she needs to eat a cheeseburger or 10 first, and another may think is a little chubby. There truly isn’t a bikini perfect body.  Primarily because there isn’t one designated look of sexy.

Can I also point out that  we don’t require men who may not have a flat stomach to wear wetsuits or one piece bathing suits and they can sit around with their bellies hanging over the waist band of their swimming trunks without another thought? They can let their hairy, sometimes stretch marked bodies be free from suffocating material, yet a woman who may do the same thing is bound to set off a mirage of chitter chatter about how “gross” it is.

While I hope there comes a point in time where a line of plus sized bikini’s no longer makes headlines for being so cutting edge and awesome simply because it’s part of main stream clothing, and we started pushing health over size, I must say that I sincerely hope that woman of all sizes can learn to embrace their bodies and learn that there is no ‘right’ size to wearing a particular type of bathing suit. Stretch marks, cellulite, an extra layer of chub, big boobs, no boobs, a boney chest, a round booty…regardless of what it is you feel is an imperfection on your body it doesn’t make you any less entitled to wear something you want to wear or instantly mean you must cover up a certain body part (or 2).



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